This morning, I went down the hill to town. It may have been due to a conversation about Germany I had had yesterday, in any case, it felt strangely empty. It was sort of quiet, but I could not really feel the energy of the people. Of course, they were there, but…
Nature was there, and I felt or imagined the spirits and / or fairies being lively, happy, and happily looking forward to what the future would bring. So… there was life. But what about the town and the people ? It had not felt like that in Tokyo, if I remember correctly (I had been living in Tokyo until March). Nor do I think it will be like that in New York.
Was it, because the people did not have high reaching dreams ? Was it, because they were just quietly living their (local) life ?
Or was it just, that I really did not belong here for now, being almost like somewhere else ?
I wanted to know, whether Stuttgart, a comparatively larger city, after all, and the mere accumulation of people might cause a different impression, would be different, so I went there.
It was… a little, maybe, different, but… it was still rather quiet.
Was Germany, as to the people, really, asleep ?
I finally (also after having noticed that the buildings or the city as such was, in many cases, not really for me) came to the conclusion, that I just did not want to be here, now.
When I was living abroad, I often thought, if going to Germany, I might either live in Stuttgart, the surroundings of Frankfurt / Taunus or Detmold.
Now, I wonder.
At least here and now, I think it is time to go.
May the way reveal itself.
When I came to the conclusion, that it was not for me to be (or should I rather say, stay ?) here now, noon was approaching.
My impression started to change a bit. Firstly, I noticed that in the park, it was different (in Kassel I had noticed a difference, too, between the park in Wilhelmshöhe, and other places – good parks might often just be fine).
I could still not compare it to the way it felt being in Tokyo, of course.
But I had only perceived the change after I came to the conclusion, it was not for me to be here [for longer]. That might be of some significance.